David Stern is consistent

Stern decided yesterday that he will not discipline the more than 50% of NBA referees who were found to have gambled in casinos. The rule states that NBA refs cannot go to casinos or bet on ANY sporting events. The refs in question are rumored to have bet on golf and football, but Stern called the rule "too harsh" and let them skate in the aftermath of Tim Donaghy's NBA betting scandal.

Umm, one word comes to mind: David Stern is balls.

While we're on the subject of terrible rules, hey, how about the leaving the bench rule after a fight? Amare Stoudemire wants to know why there was no stepping in as the commish handed the title to the Spurs after Amare took one step onto the court after Robert Horry threw a dirty elbow at Steve Nash that sent him flying into the scorer's table. I think we all deserve an explanation too.

Stern basically said "the rule is the rule, sooooooo, he needs to be suspended."

Here's to consistency!!!


Stern, after successful turkey-chin reduction surgery

Tony Kornheiser asks a question...

"Have the Red Sox fans gone from being sympathetic figures to an insufferable mass?"

Umm, when were they NOT insufferable shit babies?

This "woe-is-me, the Yankees are the Evil Empire even though we spend way more than everyone else does also, Bill Buckner-hating, chowduh eating, fucking inbred retarded accent speaking, now we're the shit because our team wins" shit has been old for oh, about the last 89 years.

You know what? Your team was done in by its own shitty play. Bucky, Buckner, Boone, Babe, all that shit was caused by your team's own stupidity/choking. You don't know what it's like to have something you won pulled away from you. You lost on the field. There were no phantom calls that deprived you of a World Series all those years. Blame your owner for selling Babe Ruth to finance 'No No Nanette' you fucking lifeless gas bags. Scream bloody murder at your borderline Hall of Fame first baseman because he made an error in a big game. Seems to me you had a lead in game 7 in '86. Didn't you? Huh?

Shut the fuck up already. Those Yankees you hate so much just to the south, you know what? People hate you more now. Your team spends out its ass to buy a championship just like the Yankees do. You know what the most obscene contract ever was before A-Rod's? It was Manny's. Stop crying, stop pretending that anyone cares about your plight and go ahead and enjoy your success while it happens, because nothing will make baseball fans happier than when you suck again.

Fuck the Yankees, fuck Steinbrenner, fuck Yankees fans, sure. But fuck you all even more. Peace.


Even babies hate you

Week 6 Rundown

In honor of the tremendous importance of naming week 6 games, here is a scoreboard of today's titanic clashes.

The Duel in Dallas
Patriots - 48
Cowboys - 27

The Comma Splice in Chicago
Vikings - 34
Bears - 31

The Clambake in Cleveland
Dolphins - 31
Browns - 41

The Genocidal Gassing in Green Bay
Redskins - 14
Packers - 17

The Klan Rally in Kansas City
Bengals - 20
Chiefs - 27

Noah Jacobsen's Bar Mitzvah in New Jersey
Eagles - 16
Jets - 9

The Tit Fondling in Tampa Bay
Titans - 10
Buccaneers - 13

The Japanese Barbecue in Jacksonville
Texans - 17
Jaguars - 37

The Baby Shower in Baltimore
Rams - 3
Ravens - 22

The Aroma of Cheese in Arizona
Panthers - 25
Cardinals - 10

The Sausage Fest in San Diego
Raiders - 14
Chargers - 28

I'll have updates tomorrow on Sodomy in Seattle and Ass to Mouth in Atlanta.

Postseason Picks

Nothing too in depth here, just giving my opinions on who will come out on top in the 2007 playoffs.

NLDS
Phillies over Rockies in 5
Cubs over Diamondbacks in 5

NLCS
Phillies over Cubs in 6

ALDS
Indians over Yankees in 5
Red Sox over Angels in 4

ALCS
Indians over Red Sox in 7

WS
Indians over Phillies in 6


The INDIANS!?!?!? You know what, I think you heard me.


Chief Wahoo is a bad mamma jamma

I would have done more logic-based analysis of the matchups but I forgot to do it yesterday. So here are my picks with no explanation. ENJOY!!!