On my own Pre-Cognizance

Barry Bonds has been going about nine games between homers lately as the scrutiny has caused him to break out in forehead rashes (!!!) and generally just fucked him up at the plate. Last night he swung so hard at a John Lannan fastball that he was buried up to his ankles afterwards.

However, the record* 756th homer will come tonight, as predicted by my highly scientific approach.

Tonight Bonds will face a pitcher named Mike Bacsik. Yeah, you can already see that name in the record book can't you?

Here's a list of some of the victimized pitchers from legendary home runs past:

Babe Ruth's 500th - Willis Hudlin
Babe Ruth's 600th - George Blaeholder
Babe Ruth's Called Shot - Charlie Root
Babe Ruth's 700th - Tommy Bridges
Babe Ruth's 714th - Guy Bush (!!!!!!!!)
Bobby Thompson's pennant-winning (THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT!!!!!!!) homer - Ralph Branca
Bill Mazeroski's walk-off in the 1960 WS - Ralph Terry
Willie Mays' 600th - Mike Corkins
Hank Aaron's 715th - Al Downing
Hank Aaron's 755th - Dick "I must break you" Drago
Carlton Fisk's "Stay Fair" WS Game 6 homer - Pat Darcy
Barry Bonds' 73rd in 2001 - Dennis Springer
Barry Bonds' 756th - Mike Bacsik

Doesn't it just fit?

I mean, Al Downing was a pretty good pitcher, but the rest of these guys...who the fuck is Guy Bush!? Incidentally, I may have infringed on his name by accident, what with all the porn I produced under that pseudonym.

But there it is, my fearless forecast. My undeniable moxie. My Bacsik instinct. Woot.


Plus, he looks like he deserves to be victimized