Below is a prediction sheet I did in March for the 2007 season. Some of it, as you will see, proves I am the world's foremost baseball genius. Other parts, however, will leave you wondering if I have a single reasonable thought in my head. (Things in parentheses denote new comments)
AL
East - Ummmmmmmmm, have you SEEN the Spankees' staff? Carl Pavano is the opening day starter. Nuff said. If they have a chance then 'Broken Wang' will have to win 19 games again...he won't. Also, Beckett cannot possibly be as bad as he was last year again. He was hurt all season and should have an ERA hovering around 4, not 5. (Well I got this one completely right. Yankees starters are as solid as poo after eating bad fish. I was right about Beckett...sort of. He HAS been better, just much better than I predicted).
Winner - Red Sox
Central - I would have picked the Twins a week ago, buuuuuuuuuuut that was before they named Carlos Silva as the No. 5 starter over Matt Garza, who had a 1 ERA in the spring and is maybe the best arm in the minor leagues (this includes you, Phil Hughes). This is an easy pick despite it being by far the toughest division in baseball. Jeremy Bonderman will win the Cy this year. Watch. (Umm, when he started the season 10-0 it looked possible, but Bondy has been just awful recently and he has 0 chance of winning the Cy. I am stupid).
Winner - Tigers (They still have a chance and I think both they and CLE will make it).
West - The Angels have a better lineup than the A's and an equally impressive pitching staff. Lackey, Colon (if healthy), Santana is about as good as Haren, Harden (if healthy) and Blanton. If, however, Harden IS healthy, the A's win the division running away because he is spectacular. The Angels' bullpen is great and their lineup is strong, so I fear them a bit, but not enough to commit to lunacy. (Well, Harden is Kerry Wood, which is fun for A's fans everywhere. Angels win running away. Hurrah).
Winner - A's (poop).
Wild Card - Ima go WAY out on a limb and go with a team with all the talent in the world but just never get it together in any meaningful way. Unless you consider an occasional 82-win season meaningful. Great lineup, suspect staff, suspect (at best) pen, but still, the lineup is ungodly. (Who's a fucking genius? It's me.)
Winner - Indians (Either CLE or DET here as above with the Central).
NL
East - Everyone picks the Mets, but yeah, like the Yankees they have no pitching at all. Glavine is 96 and is their opening day starter. Sorry, that just sucks. If Pedro comes back at all this year and is Pedro they have a chance, but no. This staff reminds me of the last shit I took on enchilada night. I'll go with a staff that has a wife beater and some douche with a name that sounds like 'Camels'.
Winner - Phillies (still technically possible, but they will have to try for the Wild Card first and foremost).
Central - Cards. NEXT! (Cards are still in it, thanks to the hilariously unlikely resurgence of Rich Ankiel. I doubt they will pull it out, but, possible).
West - Barry Zito was not worth half the money he got and you will see why in May when he has a 7 ERA and a 3-6 record. Unlike the A's, the Giants don't have a comeback instinct to make up for shittiness of such a magnitude. I hate everything about LA, but come on. What they did to that team cannot be ignored. (HAHAHAHA. Zito is just terrible).
Winner - Dodgers (Dodgers teetering between 3rd and 4th in the West but they could still win. I hope they don't tho. I hate them).
Wild Card - I really like a team that has not won in, well, ever. They have an absurd young infield and a good staff led by a guy with superhumanly nasty stuff. It may seem off the wall, but...
Winner - Brewers (Everyone owes me a coke for this prediction. I think they'll still win the Central, but predicting a playoff spot alone gets me genius points).
World Series - Tigers over Dodgers (Still possible also, but both might miss playoffs. Not good for me if that happens).
Awards:
MVPs - Pujols, Sizemore (Pujols is having just an OK season by his standards, MVP is out for him. Prince Fielder deserves it. As for Sizemore, it's not that he doesn't deserve it, it's just that A-Rod and Magglio deserve it more).
Cys - Carpenter, Bonderman (Carpenter has pitched two innings all year and is done til August...next year, and Bonderman has been recent poo. Josh Beckett and Brandon Webb probably deserve it. Dan Haren deserves it, but the A's suck. Webb might be the most under-the-radar two-time Cy winner of all-time if he wins it).
Check back on Oct. 2 to see how I did.
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